1. Research, Research, and Research

When someone is depressed, they are likely to be bad at communicating how they feel and what they need. It is up to you to find out more – read up on it, talk to therapists and even others who have been through this. So once again, kudos to you, as you are on the right track.

2. Ask Questions

Depression affects everyone differently, so even if you have done your homework – sit down with your friend and talk to them. Find out their triggers, what a bad day looks like and offer to help. Expressing your concern and taking interest matters more than you think, as they are continually battling with feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.

3. Offer Support, Not Solutions

There will be times when you feel helpless or frustrated. You have told him or her that exercise helps, but they do not bother. It is as though they don’t want to get better! This is not true. It is a lot tougher for them to do those things and trust me, they are trying. You need to remember that it is your job to be there for them and not fix them. Offer your support and companionship. Take them for appointments with the therapist, buy groceries, and run a few errands – these are small ways to make it easier.

4. Be Realistic

If someone fractured their leg, you wouldn’t expect them to start walking overnight. If they had diabetes, you would be patient and know that this stays for life. Similarly, with depression, you need to have realistic expectations. If your friend does not meet you as often or is easily irritable and withdrawn, it is not personal. If they aren’t getting better even after months, it is not their fault. Patience and understanding are crucial. They are expecting you to leave, to be unable to deal with their issues. All they need is for you to stay.

5. Talk to Them

You are afraid of saying the wrong things, so you end up avoiding them. But don’t forget, this is still the same friend. Remind them that it is okay to feel this way, they are not weak, and you do care. Listen when they talk and do not say you understand if you don’t. Instead, ask them about the things that you don’t understand.

Also, talk about other things. No one needs a constant reminder that they are sick and a good conversation with a friend goes a long way.

6. Don’t Stop Caring for Yourself

Helping someone battle their mood disorder can sometimes take a toll on you as well. Make sure to address your feelings of frustration, guilt, and fatigue and take out time for yourself. Talk to others who are in a similar situation and share your problems and worries. If the person you are caring for engages in any physical or verbal abuse, be firm and let them know that this is unacceptable. They will be grateful that you are honest.

7. Be Alert to Suicidal Signs

The statistics of suicides due to depression are unfortunately not in our favour. If you think that the person is acting differently to their usual self, talking about self-harm or ‘being a burden’, is unnaturally calm or extremely withdrawn – do not hesitate to seek help from a professional. You may face resistance, but there is only so much you can do, and at this stage, he or she is out of touch with reality. Your choice to take them to a psychiatrist may be what saves their life.