Bursting the myth – Confidence is ‘lack’ of fear
Priya sat staring at her bedroom’s window. Her mind thought about her friend Sudeshna who seemed to be excelling in everything she attempted. Priya wondered how Sudeshna acquired the confidence to do tasks. She thought, there was no word called ‘fear’ in her friend’s life and her own life was filled with only fear. She concluded to herself that fear is bad and confidence can’t come till it is gone!
What is Fear?
Fear is a primitive emotional response induced by perceived threat to protect and safe guard one’s own life. When there is possible danger, our body produces adrenaline which alerts us by pumping instant energy into the body to escape or attack. In psychology this is termed as, ‘fight or flight’ response. Hence, fear is evolved to shield one’s precious life.
Myths of fear
Fear is a sign of weakness – Most of us think, we can’t attempt at a task, since fear comes our way. We often mistake that as a sign of weakness. However in reality, in any challenging situation fear shows up naturally. Even the most successful person on Earth would have felt fear on his first ever attempt at a new task. A new task is always associated with risks and stepping out of our comfort zones. This spontaneously triggers a fear response from our body. It is a sign of warning to protect us and not to weaken us.
Fear hamper goals – There is a notion we all think is true. We can’t attempt a new task until fear is gone completely. Any new task comes with risks, when there are risks fear plays its role of warning us. The sudden rush of adrenaline gives us rapid heartbeat, increased blood pressure, tensed muscles etc., making us uncomfortable. When these sensations are channelized in the right direction, they help us take actions to achieve our goals.
Fear is our enemy – When we try to put ourselves in a challenging situation, we anticipate uncomfortable bodily sensations that arise due to fear. We think they cause us problems in taking steps towards something new. The actual truth is fear is common for all and the only difference is the attitude we have towards it. When we learn to leverage the power of fear, its effects can be converted into our benefits. Sports persons refer fear and anxiety as adrenaline rush or pumped up energy and learn to utilize their fear into performance.
How does one develop Confidence amidst Fear?
We know from the definition, confidence means trust in one’s own qualities and abilities to take actions. To gain trust in one self in a new or a challenging situation, one must get ready to face the situation. We have understood by now, that fear is the natural response towards taking risks. Taking the path of avoidance to escape from the fear will only make it worse day by day. Accepting the true nature of fear and changing our attitude towards it will help us take a step closer in developing true confidence.
Role of Therapy in facing Fear
It is common for all of us to have the misconception about fear being bad and a sign of weakness. It is a hard task for anyone to change their attitude towards fear when attempting a challenge. In order to tackle the uncomfortable sensations that occur when fear creeps up, therapy provides effective methods which helps in creating distance with discomfort. With tools in hand to handle fear, one can change their perspective on fear and face it head on to complete a task or achieve goals in life.
Dr. Russ Harris in his book Confidence Gap states, “Genuine Confidence is not the absence of fear; it is the transformed relationship with fear. “
Mallika is keenly interested in writing and human psychology. She loves to interact with people from various walks of life and add value to the society from the learnings through interactions.
Mallika is keenly interested in writing and human psychology. She loves to interact with people from various walks of life and add value to the society from the learnings through interactions.
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